Is Being Selfish A Bad Thing?

The Weinstein Co. recently picked up U.S. Rights for Madonna’s Royal W.E., a feature length film written by Madonna and Alek Keshishian, about American divorcee Wallis Simpson and the king who would give up his throne to be with her, King Edward VIII. Although the film is being billed as her directorial debut, Madonna did write and direct an 81-minute black comedy called Filth and Wisdom, which screened at the Berlin Film Festival in February 2008 -- the same year she and film director Guy Ritchie filed for divorce.

It seems like the couple is amicable these days and we’ll ultimately never know what played out in their relationship but I couldn’t help but wonder how his ego withstood her taking a seat in the director’s chair?  I’ve long admired couples who can successfully be creative together.  Because more often than not, if her achievements outpace his, or she starts exploring, and then achieving, in areas he considers his turf,  the relationship ends. 

Back in October 2008 when news of the spit hit the headlines, E! Online reported that a source close to both said, "She was always first when it came to her husband or herself, and that really took a toll on Guy. There was only so much he could put up with."

Uh, yeah, what exactly is wrong with putting yourself first?

I once had a friend who kept holding herself back from growing in the direction she needed to because her husband was balking at her changes and because she was worried that, if she changed too much -- she would want to leave him behind or vice versa.

“Marriage is about compromise,” she told me, when I called her on it.

If squishing yourself into a smaller version of yourself and corking what your heart truly desires equals compromise, you can keep it.

I’ve always admired Madonna for her ability to do exactly what she wants to do, to express her creativity and understand all facets of her personality. I believe that the fact that she is able to do so much is a direct extension of the high value she places on herself.

Single women take a lot of flack for being selfish and making themselves the focus of their own lives. I suppose I'll have to accept that because it's better than the alternative: doormat.